♠ | 022 | Video

[lastrat]

[This is not the face of a man well content with life. This is the face of a man pissed off at having slept for God knows how long.]

First he puts me to sleep for weeks, then he asks me to look after a child. I'm beginning to wonder if he actually expects redemption.

Weren't we just in port? [Fuck this ride, fuck the Admiral, grump grump grump.]

[Private to Ellie]

Meet me in the gym.

[Private to the Admiral]

I would comment on the fact that I'm a grown man and haven't written a letter to Father Christmas in decades, but I've the feeling it will fall on deaf ears.

Take your letters and sod off.

[And because he literally cannot resist, a check list.]

Vesper	.....	something for the cat to take a spin in.
Cassel	.....	a tailored suit. a bottle of fleur de champagne. condoms. [There was nose wrinkling.]
Peter	.....	a new camera. extra film/memory cards.
Chris	.....	a pomeranian.
Ellie	.....	something for the bloody sheep.
Selina	.....	the most expensive piece of art in the world. a french-english dictionary.
Elena	.....	twilight. [because he could do a thoughtful gift but why when he can bring sparling vampires into her life.]
Daneca	.....	copious alcohol. a martini glass. no - six martini glasses. she has to catch up.
Stark	.....	a toy sword. with plastic flames. lights up. etc.
Lark	.....	a stuffed dog.
Bush	.....	ship in bottle. hms nonsuch along its side.
Babs	.....	a little first aid kit. with a sign that reads 'FOR WOUNDED PRIDE' on top.
Natasha	.....	some russian cold war gadget. something ridiculous.
Abigail	.....	something with crocodile skin. boots, purse, i don't care.
Archer	.....	an invisible gun. maybe he'll shoot himself.
Esther	.....	a dead rat. [Because he will always be the last rat standing >(]

Comments

private

[lastrat]

Yes, and I try to avoid it at every opportunity. [Liar.]

private

[myresponsibility]

Come on.

private

[lastrat]

Don't come on me.

private

[myresponsibility]

Do you need help?

private

[lastrat]

I'll manage.

private

[myresponsibility]

Offer still stands.

Or you can just try to beat me up.

private

[lastrat]

You know, that sounds wonderfully cathartic.

private

[myresponsibility]

Remind me never to get on your bad side.

private

[lastrat]

I thought you already learned that.

private

[myresponsibility]

I think I figured that out around the time you said you would shoot me if I said I was Spider-Man.

private

[lastrat]

It was important that we understand each other early on.

private

[myresponsibility]

Well, thanks for showing some restraint.

Re: private

[lastrat]

I didn't have nearly enough clips to waste on you.

private

[myresponsibility]

... Actually, not that I want to actually have you shoot me? But I have kind of been wondering if I could like, you know. Dodge a bullet next time.

private

[lastrat]

So you do want me to shoot at you.

private

[myresponsibility]

Maybe just with rubber bullets?

private

[lastrat]

Sounding cathartic again.

private

[myresponsibility]

You need a therapist. Like, yesterday.

private

[lastrat]

What are you talking about? This sounds perfectly therapeutic.

private

[myresponsibility]

Please don't teach Ellie that.

private

[lastrat]

I have a feeling she'd take right to it.

private

[myresponsibility]

That's what I'm afraid of.

private

[lastrat]

Might turn out to be good for her.

private

[myresponsibility]

And she might shoot someone.

private

[lastrat]

Let's not cross that bridge till we come to it.