lastrat: (I've come to work)
James Bond ([personal profile] lastrat) wrote2013-12-20 09:46 pm

♠ | 022 | Video

[This is not the face of a man well content with life. This is the face of a man pissed off at having slept for God knows how long.]

First he puts me to sleep for weeks, then he asks me to look after a child. I'm beginning to wonder if he actually expects redemption.

Weren't we just in port? [Fuck this ride, fuck the Admiral, grump grump grump.]

[Private to Ellie]

Meet me in the gym.

[Private to the Admiral]

I would comment on the fact that I'm a grown man and haven't written a letter to Father Christmas in decades, but I've the feeling it will fall on deaf ears.

Take your letters and sod off.

[And because he literally cannot resist, a check list.]

Vesper.....something for the cat to take a spin in.
Cassel.....a tailored suit. a bottle of fleur de champagne. condoms. [There was nose wrinkling.]
Peter.....a new camera. extra film/memory cards.
Chris.....a pomeranian.
Ellie.....something for the bloody sheep.
Selina.....the most expensive piece of art in the world. a french-english dictionary.
Elena.....twilight. [because he could do a thoughtful gift but why when he can bring sparling vampires into her life.]
Daneca.....copious alcohol. a martini glass. no - six martini glasses. she has to catch up.
Stark.....a toy sword. with plastic flames. lights up. etc.
Lark.....a stuffed dog.
Bush.....ship in bottle. hms nonsuch along its side.
Babs.....a little first aid kit. with a sign that reads 'FOR WOUNDED PRIDE' on top.
Natasha.....some russian cold war gadget. something ridiculous.
Abigail.....something with crocodile skin. boots, purse, i don't care.
Archer.....an invisible gun. maybe he'll shoot himself.
Esther.....a dead rat. [Because he will always be the last rat standing >(]
routemistress: (o rly)

Re: [private]

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-12-21 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Was a soldier. I know that sort of thing takes a while to wear off. Poor kid. You can show 'er how not to cope by example.

Since when are you allergic to whiskey, you pillock?
routemistress: (black hat)

[private]

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-12-21 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
You'll be fine.

[She knows you do.]

Do you want me to give you a full chemical rundown? It's not made of whiskey. It's a warming carrier oil with some of the same esters that make whisky smell of whisky. I mostly made it for meself. 'Cause I want you all to smell good.
routemistress: (iris in black)

[private]

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-12-21 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
It's fantastic. All warm and ...whiskeyish. I've also made it nontoxic. Not that I plan to lick it off you at all.

[She's saving that for someone else.]

But someone might want to, eh?
routemistress: (LOL)

[private]

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-12-22 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
I'm warming me 'ands.