lastrat: (and if the morning light sets in)
James Bond ([personal profile] lastrat) wrote2012-12-09 01:43 pm

♠ | 002 | Video

[Much different from the man who posed skepticism and disbelief a few days ago, Bond is now smiling. He looks at ease, and for once like he isn't constantly on guard. It erases some lines from his face, makes him look a little younger, a little lighter.]

I never was much for Christmas, you know. Can't understand why now. It's nice, isn't it? The coming together, the gaiety of it all. I think I've been rather rude since I got here, and I'd like to apologize to you all. I'm sure you've only been trying to help, and I ought to have been more receiving. That's what this season's all about, isn't it? Setting aside your disbelief and believing in miracles.

[Another warm smile, and he nods.] I think I like that.

[Private to the Admiral]

[This list will be angrily replaced later, but for now, happiness and good will towards man and all that.]

Haven't written one of these since I was a boy, but if you insist:

For Ivy, a beautiful dress. Green, naturally. With a leaf motif, since she seems so fond. For Castiel - I think he could use a halo, don't you? For Lark - Mm. I'm not very good at this. Aftershave, or cologne, something expensive that he'll enjoy.

And for Vesper-- [He trails off, thinking hard.] A necklace, I think. With a key on it. [A pause, then a smile. Yes, that'll do nicely.]

[Spam for Vesper]

[When he ended the post, he realized he was just sitting here alone, with Vesper only next door. Why shouldn't he believe miracles? She was dead, and now she was alive. And he'd attacked her. James hung his head for a moment, and reached into his jacket pocket, where he could turn her Algerian love knot over in his hand. This was stupid; he ought to apologize. He ought to go and enjoy her company. He ought to let her soothe the ache in his chest. Why shouldn't he?

So a moment later, he was at her door, knuckles tapping against the wood quickly.]
bitteraftertaste: (there but for the grace of God go I)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-10 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
[She took a deep breath and tried to relax, tried not to think about the inevitable fallout when things went back to normal, closing her eyes and bringing one hand up to run her fingers through his hair.] I'm the one who should be sorry. I am still sorry. [Even if he'd told her not to be, because she doesn't think she can ever stop.]
bitteraftertaste: (to where the water was)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-10 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
[She held on to him tightly, trying to breathe through the tightness in her chest and the still present threat of tears.]

I didn't want you to. [And it hurt to admit, it hurt to think about, but she couldn't stop. She'd thrown the dress she'd worn in the bottom of her closet where she wouldn't have to see it again.] I knew- [And her voice cracked, so she swallowed before continuing, trying to talk through it.

Maybe it wasn't fair, to say this now, but she wanted to explain, to tell him why she'd done it.]
I knew you'd hate me for what I did. I couldn't live with that.
bitteraftertaste: (and a bargain must be made)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-10 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[She almost wanted to look away when he said it, not sure if this was just the flood or something he just wouldn't admit to without its influence, but the second part, well. Even if he hated her, that wasn't hard to see as the truth.

Her vision blurred and she blinked, taking a shaky breath.]


I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know you don't have any reason to trust me, but that's the truth.
bitteraftertaste: (I love you never felt like any blessing)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-12 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
[She half sobbed into the kiss before returning it. It was brief, because she still felt guilty, for so many reasons, but especially because she felt like she was taking advantage of whatever this was if she let it go any further, and she didn't want that.

So she pulled back after a moment, but rested her forehead against his, a hand gently cupping the back of his neck.]


Did you- [She had to swallow, trying to force her throat to loosen up.] Do you know why? [She'd been working for Quantum, she'd betrayed him, she couldn't force herself to say it.]
bitteraftertaste: (but oh my love don't forget me)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-12 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
[He did know. She wasn't sure if that was a relief or not, because he'd still be furious, but maybe, maybe things would be a little easier. Maybe. Not that she really had any expectations or hope for their relationship's future. She was dead.]

Yeah. [She was crying, just a little, but manages a sad smile anyway, and she she couldn't hide the affection in her expression as she looked at him.] I suppose I've proved that a few times, haven't I?

[It's self depreciating humor, because she'd done it again, with Bond. She'd turned into some awful cliche without even realizing it.]
bitteraftertaste: (and all this longing)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-12 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
I know. [It had been one of the reasons she'd locked the door, why she'd effectively told him it was alright, it wasn't his fault, not to save her.

She reaches out to stroke his hair gently, expression fond and at the same time desperately sad.]


I do love you, you know. [She hadn't let herself say it before, when she'd known it couldn't last, when all it would do was make the damage worse. But, well. She meant it. More than anything.]
bitteraftertaste: (a man on your side)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-12 07:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Her smile was a little wobbly, but it was still there, even though her eyes were still wet, because you couldn't say things like this without getting emotional.]

I know. But I have for quite a while, by now. [Before she'd even consciously realized it, even. He was sweet and charming and a complete asshole, and she apparently couldn't help it.]
bitteraftertaste: (to where the water was)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-12 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
[She settled against him comfortably, reassured and comforted by his solid, familiar presence. It made it easier to talk about.]

When Le Chiffre took us, and Quantum arrived to take care of him, I promised them the money if they'd let you live. [It had been immediate. She hadn't hesitated before begging them to let him live, to take him to a hospital instead of shooting him in the head, even though she'd known what it would mean for Yusef.

She snuggled closer, and her voice was thick with emotion again.]


I knew what that would mean, but I couldn't even think about Yusef, I just didn't want you to be hurt anymore and I couldn't let them kill you.
bitteraftertaste: (that's what the water gave me)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-12 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[She put her hand on his chest, feeling his pulse, and it was almost like they could pretend it had never happened. They were both here, they both seemed alive, but they weren't, not really. At least, she wasn't. She still didn't know how James had gotten here.]

You don't have to. I'd do it again, if I had to. [Not that she hoped she would, but she meant it. She'd do anything for him, even now.

She lifted her head carefully to kiss his cheek.]
I love you.
bitteraftertaste: (I am happy enough to die)

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[personal profile] bitteraftertaste 2012-12-14 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[She was still sad. She still knew that this wasn't going to last, that things were never going to be the way they had been between them, but she did love him, more than anything, and she couldn't have pulled away and told him to stop if she wanted to.

So she kissed him back, even as the logical part of her mind kept insisting this was a terrible idea, this was only going to make it hurt worse when this was over and she'd hate herself for being like this when all was said and done. But for the moment, she didn't care, mostly able to block it out.]